The Trauma...

Okay, so dude across from me on the tube last night untied his shoes and slipped them off a little. His ass was getting comfortable. So what did I do? I undid my bra - I had on like three layers so it wasn't obvious. No, I wasn't flirting with him but damn it if he could get comfortable why they hell shouldn't I?? And boy, did it feel good.


This is harsh but this big girl got on the tube with gray leopard print tights on and - yes I am going to say it - her legs looked like an elephant with eczema!



Standing in line for my lamb wrap today I got not one but two full moon flashes! Why I gotta see your ass crack while I'm waiting for my wrap??? The first time was an accident...the second time, yo ass is just nasty! And why dude look special anyway?? He looks like someone's cousin who can't get a regular job cuz "no one but family" understands him.....naw, his ass is special in the clinical sort of way. Why he scary??!?!?!?!

Big women

Come on now......what am I a freaking target?? I have never been thin but why is it big women wanna come sit next to me wheb there are a crap load of other seats?!?!?!? What do I look like I can protect you?!?!? I'm a new yorker not superman!

And today isn't the first time. But why this grown woman come and shove herself into the seat next to me when almost the whole row across from me was empty?!!?!?

Then I move and guess what?  I'm sitting across from a guy who has a twitch and looks like a good candidate for PTSD. What a day!

Shit I see on the tube

Okay so this kid has to be at minimum 14 years old and he sat un my face picking his nose! If that wasn't enough his finger went from his nose to his mouth in seconds.....TWICE! You nasty little summama so-and-so! He was eating boogers for real! Eeeeeeewwww! How is it that none of your friends or family ever noticed that nasty ass habit and stop you from doing it. He got the booger touch.

Mr dude that wears shades on the tube even when we're underground or there is no sun.....hmmm, really?

Pardon me Mr Alfred Hitchcock look alike,  I was just wondering when was the last time you saw your junk without using a mirror.

Hey Ms lady ma'am, how did you find shoes the color of your skin?  That's crazy.

Hey red bone? You're giving your suit stretch marks. Unbutton your jacket fool!

Hey lady with the different synthetic pony tail every couple of days? #no #justno

Children

Was there some independent research commissioned that now says it's safe to allow your child to run up and down a moving train car? Did I miss the memo?

And when did schools stop teaching students about inside voices?  Was it around the time teachers became afraid of students?  Or was it when teachers stopped being required to be able to speak good English? I wonder.......

Yo....

Why shorty's dad told him to stop and not go in the store and he turned around and said "I said, wait a minute I wanna see something"?!?!??!? For real??? Your kid gets to talk to you like that???? He might as well have smacked you in the face and snatched your wallet!!!

Why did this 6 year old little boy in the doctor's office stand at the water dispenser just pressing the button and when his mother came to get him he threw himself on the floor???? Uh, it looked like he needed a trip to the bathroom. Shorty was screaming in the doctor's office and his  mamma didn't even hit him! He was just acting a fool, having water all over the place, laughing while he's pressing the button on the water dispenser.

Is it just me or are parents getting lazier?? There seems to be a serious lack of activity in controlling children. I find it hilarious when a child is running wild and coming toward me and I look for the parent who is looking at me like I'm supposed to stop their child.

The other thing that is funny to me are the ones who are standing on the curb about to cross the street but are on their cell (mobile) phones and the kids are playing around. When you try to tell their kids to back up, they get made at you?!?!?!? Word?!?!? I hope you're not looking for witnesses when shorty gets run over.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.....what has the world come to??

Eewwww

I'm sorry....wait no I'm not. This ad is just gross!

Silly shit

Hey grandma???? I know you might think having three generations of women in your family all dressed in velour Baby Phat sweat (track) suits is cute,  but you're wrong. YOU'RE WRONG!!!!

And why the hell is your hair still pink at your age??? Grow up! Your whole debacle of a family look like live welfare adds!               

Excuse me lady but you look offends me. Why the hell is your ponytail a different color and texture from the rest of your hair?  It ain't yours, that's why!!!! #fail Learn to match your hair pieces for goodness sake. #getgrown

Hey Mr Black Man, why you gotta give me a raised eyebrow when I sat down? I didn't sit here cuz you're Black. I sat here cuz you look like you're about to get up and I want your seat.  Bye!

Come on lady, cover your damn mouth. That shit ain't cute.

I'm going to be late for work and all I can think about is how much I'd rather just ride the train and write about people. #prioritiesaskew