To the Ladies.....

Now anyone who knows me knows I hate gold shoes on principle. I mean, who

made these things popular? Who said "you know what, we have every other color shoe, now we need gold"? I don't care who's wearing them gold shoes are an atrocity that should have never been conceived. It's wrong I tell you! And, not only did girlfriend today have on gold shoes, they were gold and GLITTERY!!! WTH?!?!?!!? Who told you they were cute? Yeah, you got a right to where what you like but I have a right not to have to go back and have my laser surgery done again because I'm blinded by the foolishness you put on your feet!

The only thing worse than gold shoes, and is unfortunately something else I see on a daily basis in the capital, is black or any dark tights/stockings and white/cream/beige or any light colored shoe. This looks positively insane!! Back in the day you could count on this being something that only a crazy aunt who was losing her mind and having conversations with her 8 year old Dachsund doing!! There wouldn't be young, seemingly reasonable women who did this. And why would you, it's wrong. I mean it used to be a well known fashion faux pas. I actually read online that doing this was a good thing and someone commented how beautiful the contrasts is....no it ain't!!!!! This shit looks re-re. It's wrong! You might be able to get away with sheer black stockings and light colored shoes and that's a big might but the women that do this foolishness don't do that, they wear thick black tight.....grrrrrrrr

Along these lines is the the wearing of white shoes all year long. I'm sorry but no. Not on women, and damn sure not on men. I am an American living in London but this is still a valid rule. If any non Americans read this here is the rule: no white shoes before Memorial Day (the last Monday of May) or after Labor Day (first Monday in September). Please I get the only skin crawly crack itch when I see this madness, especially when the culprit is wearing dark socks, stockings or tights!!! STOP IT!! Right this instant!! STOP IT!!!!!

And fellas, the white shoes with the curled toe.....HELL NO!! Stop this foolishness immediately!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I'm drowning in a sea "OH HELL NAW"!!!! Help me!!!!!!